Life is full of wonder...

That's it...I'm seriously juz being plain stupid. Like I said, no more next time. That will be my last time being close to someone...either way, I still have people close to me and appreciate me the way I am and I am happy that way. I have SC as my partner for life...I have Terence as my best boyfren for life...I have KW as my best brother for life...that is enough for me. At least they do not hurt me, instead they took care of me and care for me much. At least I play an important role to them and I am someone who is important to them...They are juz all I needed in this life... Sometimes I wonder...what if one day I ended up in a hospital...probably due to attacks, or maybe accident? Who will be there by my side when I wake up? Well, at least I know that those people that come to me are those that care for me. What happen when I ended up dying? Who will mourn for me? I really dunno...I really want to know...I really want to know how much I mean to them... I'm really lost...I really dont know what to do...KW said I'm strong...Terence as well...but I wonder...am I really that strong? Where am I heading? Why do I need to be strong? It hurts so much to be strong but deep down it is like a cut in me. I guess that is one of the reason why I want to have my tongue piercing. I have a habit...bad habit of mine. Whenever I'm hurt, I tend to do stupid things that is painful so that I could feel that pain more than the pain in my heart. Terence knew this very well because I went through that with him before. I guess habits will always remain as habits... I dont wan to think anymore...I dont want to remember anymore...Enough is enough. I'm tired of everything...tired of my weakness...tired of my so-called being strong...tired of myself being plain stupid. I need a break...Words were right...I take things for granted...And I always have this principle that I never regret the things that I did and yes...I never regret everything...I juz accept it if it goes wrong and learned from it. Time will heal...as what KW said...he is also worried over me. Thanks kor...for being concern about me. Juz be by my side more and it will make me feel much better... My life went back to how it was before. Not so much of phone calls, not so much of messages, not so much of online messages...should I be glad that everything is over? I guess I should be...those were juz memories...plain stupid memories...