End of Holiday...

1 week passed and that's the end of my lovely holidays. *shrugs* Although it is only 1 week but lots of things happened in this 1 week. My beloved grandpa went far away from us...my mom was here for a while but I didnt get to see her...Valentine's Day...Chinese New Year...BB's birthday...outing with SC...family dinner with Dad...overall I had a great time. I do have my ups and downs tho...My brother called me on BB's birthday wishing her a happy birthday and I did asked him on my grandpa's matters. He was told that grandpa passed away with a smile in his face...He was happy at the very last moment. Thank God for that. I respect him a lot...at least that is a good news for me...I am able to face myself in this situation better. BB is not feeling well this few days...rather since yesterday. She's having some problem in her stomach and she had been vomiting on foods since yesterday. May God bless him...SC will be bringing her to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully everything will be ok. I juz pray for her to be healthy again. Oh ya...we went swimming today...me, BB, SC, and one of his fren at Palm Spring. It was rather cold tho the pool water there. BB played in the swimming pool with her new Pooh float that I bought for her. She is happy. The only thing is that she didnt want to wear her swimming suit *shrugs* Off she goes into the pool with her proper attire *shrugs* At least she had fun and we were all together. Something happened yesterday...SC was out at his frenz open house gambling and all till late at night when he suddenly called me saying that his fren will be staying over at Palm Spring and he'll be there with him too. I was really angry and at the same time dissapointed with him. I remembered telling this to myself...SC can go out at night, drinking and have fun and all as long as he comes back home at night...All this while, it had been like that...as long as he comes back home...I will be ok. But yesterday, for the first time, he told me he'll be staying over there. I didnt know what to think...altho the fren is a guy but still...I cant accept it. It was about 3 am that time. I told him...whatever it is...I want him to be back at home and I slammed down the phone...as usual *giggles* Well, he did came back home...at about 4 am. Lots of things was on my mind yesterday that I couldnt sleep at all. I put my trust in him that he is not cheating on me and I believe that he will not but sometimes, I juz tend to think too much and I'm quite a sensitive person as well. I never like that part of me but that is me...I have to accept it. I dont think I can change it so I have to accept it. That is my quote for life. Things that happened to me in the past...were never easy to forget...in fact, I cant seem to forget it at all. Even if it happened many years ago...it still runs in my mind from time to time. My mind is still in a mess now, in fact, I am still in a mess now. Well, I have noone to blame but myself. Bleh...juz have to get a hang of myself until I am fully settled down...I wonder when will it be...Will I be able to settle down at all? *shrugs*